Grocery Shopping

A friend was in line at the grocery store with her six year old son. The clerk was friendly and chatting with everyone. The boy said to her, "Do you know everyone?" She replied, "I like to talk. I guess people just like me." At which point the boy looks at his mother (my friend). "Mom, you like to talk and no one likes you."

Appropriate Dinner Attire

Said Emma and Mandy's dad: "No daughter of mine will sit at the dinner table topless."

Overheard

**The injury sustained in the following anecdote was accidental and was quickly recovered from.

I overheard my husband say the following to my eldest son. The tone of his voice, more annoyed than anything, is what really struck me as humorous.
"You didn't tell me that when you kicked your brother in the face, you gave him a bloody nose."

As it turns out, the little brother stepped in front of the big brother mid kung fu kick. He knew he would be in trouble if he didn't own up to what he did, so he admitted it, leaving out one tiny detail...
Everyone is fine now. No blood on the carpet. The little one is likely to be more careful around kung fu, and the older one learned an important lesson about responsability.

Writing in Diarrhea

Last week our family suffered a bout of the Diarrhea. It was a new word for Nika and she got a little confused. In the locker room after swim lessons, she asks me out of the blue, "Do you write in Diarrhea?" Instantly turning red among the other swim instructors I reply, "No, No hunny! Than is a Diary!"

The Art and Science of Communication

The following conversation actually took place, in front of witnesses.

4 year old: "Mom, what does no comprendo mean?"
Me: I don't understand.
4YO: What does no comprendo mean?
Me: I don't understand.
4YO: NO COMPRENDO
Me: No comprendo means I don't understand.
4YO: Why didn't you just tell me that?

Sick

This morning, Benton chatted with his cousin Emma on the phone. She was too sick to come see him, so they got the basics out of the way. Then I hear Emma through the speaker phone say. "I'm sicker than a cat."

VBC

This morning as I shoveled toys out from behind the crib, Benton started to laugh.
"Mommy there's something funny about your butt!"
Oh dear!
"It sneaked out when you were bending over!"
Argh!!